I can find it. Not consciously, another way. It’s out there and when I find it I can be at peace.
To reach that place. Mind set free in a confined space. Leave the key in the house and just sit in the driver’s seat. Can’t turn the ignition without the key. No danger.
It happened long ago. If only I could remember. I was in no state to remember, thought I’d always know. Now I’m stuck searching. Friends, lovers, parents, my brother and sister, they don’t know. They’ll try to help. Big hearts, good intentions. My fault when they leave, not theirs.
Or it’s in a future I once foresaw, in a dream I can’t live. Can’t wait for it, how could I? I’ll seek it every day. Everything will make sense when I find it. Then I’ll matter.
It’s ethereal, surrounding me. It’s infinite but fleeting. Feeling for it with unnatural senses, heightened but must go further.
Bottom of the bottle. Didn’t find it today, maybe tomorrow. Blind faith until I see it, no room for doubt. I know it’s real. I’ll find it or die trying.
I like this piece. You can really feel his desperation.
ReplyDeleteVery vague, but at this length I enjoyed it. You have just enough space for the narrator to work at his (or her) enthrallment with the experience.
ReplyDeleteLots of breathing space in this one, which I do like. I can almost understand it. It feels like something just out of grasp...
ReplyDeleteA nice slow pace to this, that sense of searching but not finding.
ReplyDeleteHi Karen, thanks for the comment and the re-tweet, I'm so glad you liked the story.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I appreciate your comment, it's good to know you felt the length fit the piece.
Welcome, T.S., thanks for stopping by and for the comment, glad you understood the narrator's plight.
Hello Helen, thank you for mentioning the pace of the story, much appreciated.
I enjoyed this price for it's lyrical nature, but also for what was left unsaid. I caught myself reading things (meanings, etc.) into it and I enjoy stories that let the reader do that.
ReplyDeleteI hate that feeling, of knowing you're looking for something but not knowing quite what it is. I think it neatly sums up the human condition.
ReplyDeleteThanks Chuck, my hope was exactly that, to spur thought.
ReplyDeleteVery poignant comment, Icy, I appreciate it.